(with comments)

If you yelled for 8 years and 7 months, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
    (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted continuously for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas would be produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
    (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet.
    (I'll keep that in mind...)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
    (In my next life I want to be a pig!)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
    (I'm still not over that pig thing.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
    ("Honey, I'm home. What the....")

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
    (In my next life I still want to be a pig...quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
    (Oh, geez! I really didn't need to know that.)

Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.
    (OK, so that would be a good thing ...)

A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
    (I really didn't need to know that either.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
    (I know some people like that.)

Starfish don't have brains.
    (I know some people like that too!)

Polar bears are left handed.
    (Who knew....?, Who cares?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (What about the pig?)